What You Will Find On This Page

PARENTING FROM PROVERBS

The book of Proverbs is a virtual mine filled with priceless gems of wisdom on parenting. The inspired instruction the Wise man gives should be carefully studied and implemented by every parent. Let us note some of the salient parenting pointers from Proverbs.

1. Parents must teach respect for authority. "My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother" (Prov 1:8) Children need to learn early in life that they must respect authority. "Therefore hear me now, my children, And do not depart from the words of my mouth" (Prov. 5:7).

2. Parents must exercise discipline. "Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die" (Prov. 23:13). Fathers and mothers must exercise discipline because "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction will drive it far from him" (Prov. 22:15).

3. Parents must teach children to avoid bad people. "Do not enter the path of the wicked, And do not walk in the way of evil. Avoid it, do not travel on it; Turn away from it and pass on. For they do not sleep unless they have done evil; And their sleep is taken away unless they make someone fall" (Prov. 4:14-16).

4. Parents must teach on sexual purity. Parental instruction is designed "to deep you from the evil woman, From the flattering tongue of a seductress" (Prov. 6:24). Parents should not hesitate to warn their children of the dangers of pre-marital and extra-marital sex for the Word of God is quite clear on such matters (read Prov. 7:4-23).

5. Parents must teach children the value of honesty. "Dishonest scales are an abomination to the LORD, But a just weight is His delight" (Prov. 11:1). "The righteousness of the upright will deliver them, But the unfaithful will be caught by their lust" (Prov. 11:6). "Better is the poor who walks in his integrity Than one perverse in his ways, though he be rich" (Prov. 28:6).

6. Parents must teach children the proper use of the tongue. "Whoever guards his mouth and tongue Keeps his soul from troubles" (Prov. 21:23). "Better is the poor who walks in his integrity Than one who is perverse in his lips, and is a fool" (Prov. 19:1). "The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness" (Prov. 15:2).

7. Parents must teach the value of a peaceful home-life. "Better is a dry morsel with quietness, Than a house full of feasting with strife" (Prov. 17:1). "The beginning of strife is like releasing water; Therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts" (Prov. 17:14).

Remember that children are a gift from God (Psalms 127:3), therefore we should do our best to rear them in God's way (Prov. 22:6).
©2005--Dan Flournoy
Email: dan@christian-family.net

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Be the Best Parent You Can Be...

1. Children begin forming their opinion of themselves by the manner in which you talk to them. Is what they hear positive?

2. Set aside special time to spend with each of your children.

3. "Catch" your child being good!

4. Move closer physically to your children. Hold them.

5. When you and your children talk, stop and look into their eyes.

6. Share positive feelings often.

7. Don't say, "You shouldn't feel that way." It makes children believe their feelings are not important.

8. Tell your children "I love you."

9. Read the Bible to your children and remind them that this is how God talks to us.

10. Pray with your children several times each day. Let them know that this is how we talk to God.

--Author unknown, edited by Dan Flournoy,
Email: dan@christian-family.net

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TRAINING CHILDREN FOR FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

By Jason Jackson
 Our children are born into a financial world of income, taxes, loans, creditors, investments - and even church contributions. Sadly, few are prepared to take on the challenges of managing their finances at all, much less according to biblical principles.

Note some staggering statistics: eighty-five percent of divorced couples indicate financial problems were a contributing factor to the erosion of the marriage. The average score for a financial I.Q. test administered to high school students was 42%. Last year, there were no less than one million personal bankruptcies.

Does the Bible address financial concerns? Absolutely! Families, and the church as a whole, would be better off if we managed money according to biblical principles. Let us note some of the principles we need to pass on to our children.

The Bible has much to say about our disposition towards money. The love of it is a root of many evils (1 Tim. 6:10, 17). The Bible is not a get-rich-quick guide. It warns that the insatiable desire to have things is idolatry (Col. 3:5). Many have a strike-it-rich mentality that demands more time and attention than spiritual concerns.

Our children need to learn from us, that money, and the things it can buy, are a means to an end. They help us live, so that we can serve God.

In addition to having the right attitude about our money, we must practice biblical principles regarding management and teach them to our children.

It is time for the cloak of secrecy to come off in our homes. We cannot expect our children to live in a financial bubble, detached from the "real world," and then be able to become an adult, almost "miraculously" at the age of eighteen, navigating through the financial maze.

It is our job - not the school's or any other's - to ensure that our children have proper training in this area of life. Here are some biblical principles that we ought to be training our children to believe and practice.

Sweating: One must work in order to earn money. Parents do their children a disservice by handing dollar-after-dollar to them for years, without the child ever earning that income. It is no wonder that employers are finding it more difficult to hire individuals with a good work ethic (2 Thess. 3:10).

Saving: "There is precious treasure and oil in the dwelling of the wise; but a foolish man swalloweth it up" (Prov. 21:20).

Our children need to learn the value of both short-term and long-term saving. One the short-term side - dishwashers go out, new tires need to be purchased, and clothes are outgrown. These are the kind of expenses that often create difficulties as they "take us by surprise." (See Mary Hunt's suggestions in The Complete Cheapskate, Colorado Springs: Focus on the Family Pub., 1997.)

On the long-term side of saving, teach your children about Joseph, who prepared for seven years of famine - over a period of seven years - by saving. Our children should have the same kind of conviction about saving as they do about giving into the church treasury (and hopefully we have taught them to give). Charles Schwab writes that the biggest mistake people make about saving for retirement is - they don't (Charles Schwab's Guide to Financial Independence, New York: Crown Pub., 1998, p. 39).

Spending: There is nothing wrong with spending. Money management is not telling your kids, "Don't buy anything." Rather, we must educate them on what it really costs to live. Teach your children how to spend wisely (Prov. 22:7). Shop for clothes out of season, compare grocery stores, mind the sales, etc. (Miserly Moms: Living on One Income in a Two Income Economy, Elkton, MD: Full Quart Press, 1996).

Selecting: Teach your children that the idea of "some for the Lord, and the rest for me," is not a scriptural view of life. Help them develop a lifelike budget, on a child's level, that will in some way imitate what they can expect later in life. When they receive an allowance, them to give, to save, and to help pay for things they need and want.

Sacrificing: Read Malachi 3:8-10; 1 Corinthians 16:2; and 2 Corinthians 8:7-9 with your children. Do they know what you give to God as a family? If they don't, would you be embarrassed to tell them? Sacrificial giving is the best investment about which you can teach your children (Mal. 3:8-10). (See Larry Burkett's book, Financial Parenting, Colorado Springs: Chariot Victor Pub., 1996.)

Train your children to avoid financial pitfalls, with the focus on being a faithful steward of all with which God blesses us.

--Jason Jackson, via Christian Courier

Visit the Christian Courier Web Site at:www.christiancourier.com

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What is Child Abuse?

Child abuse is:
When daddy's never there, and mama doesn't care.
When toys are given in the place of admonition.
When they whine and pout and all you do is scream and shout.
When selfishly you say, "Leave me alone and go away!"
When instead of a swift boot, you reply, "Isn't that cute?"
When time and time again they win, and all you've done is given in.
When in worship they cry and shout, and you're too shamed to take them out.
When they reply, "I will not," and they receive not a swat.
When respect they do not show, and to the belt you never go.
When they're grown and going wild because you didn't spank the child.
Then at judgment God will say: "Depart from me,
and now with you, your kids will be!
For you didn't bother to listen to me."
If that's not abuse, what could it be?
(Proverb 23:13-14;1 Samuel 3:13)
--Josh Linton

Email: dan@christian-family.net
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Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.


If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte

 

Email: dan@christian-family.net

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FROM PARENTS TO CHILD

I gave you life,

But I cannot live it for you.

I can teach you things,

But I cannot make you learn.

I can give you directions,

But I cannot always be there to lead you.

I can allow you freedom,

But I cannot account for it.

I can take you to church,

But I cannot make you believe.

I can teach you right from wrong,

But I cannot always decide for you.

I can buy you beautiful clothes,

But I cannot make you beautiful inside.

I can offer you advice,

But I cannot accept it for you.

I can give you love,

But I cannot force it upon you.

I can teach you to share,

But I cannot make you unselfish.

I can teach you respect,

But I cannot force you to show honor.

I can advise you about friends,

But I cannot choose them for you.

I can advise you about sex,

But I cannot keep you pure.

I can tell you the facts of life,

But I cannot build your reputation.

I can tell you about drinking,

But I cannot say no for you.

I can warn you about drugs,

But I cannot prevent you from using them.

I can tell you about lofty goals,

But I cannot achieve them for you.

I can warn you about sins,

But I cannot make your morals.

I can love you as a child,

But I cannot place you in God’s family.

I can pray for you,

But I cannot make you walk with God.

I can teach you about Jesus,

But I cannot make Jesus your Lord.

I can tell you how to live,

But I cannot give you eternal life.

--Author Unknown

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Email: dan@christian-family.net

 

To Be A Mom

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family."  "We're taking a survey," she says half-joking.   "Do you think I should have a baby?" "

It will change your life,"I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. "I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."  But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.  I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but she will forever be vulnerable.  I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking,  "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her.  That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub.  That an urgent call of "Mom! " will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation.  

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood.  She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell.  She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.  I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine.  That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.  

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.  That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child.  That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.  I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.

My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.  I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child.  I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.  I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.  

I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children's future.  I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.  I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts. My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes.

"You'll never regret it," I finally say.  Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women  who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.... that of being a Mother.

Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your girlfriends who may someday be moms. .

~~Author Unknown

Email: dan@christian-family.net

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Mothers' Maintenance Manual

Many of us take better care of our cars then we do our mothers and yet we only expect our cars to last 5 or 6 years but we expect our mothers to last for a lifetime.  Maybe we need a maintenance manual for mothers so we would know how to take care of them at least as well as we do our automobiles.  Here are some items that might be included in such a manual.

Engine: A mother's engine is one of the most dependable kinds you can find.  She can reach top speed from a prone position at a single cry from a sleeping child.  But regular breaks are needed to keep up that peak performance.  Mothers need a hot bath and a nap every 100 miles, a baby-sitter and a night out every 1,000 miles, and a live-in baby-sitter with a one week vacation every 10,000 miles.

Battery: Mother's batteries should be recharged regularly.  Handmade items, notes, unexpected hugs and kisses, and frequent "I love you's" will do very well!  for a recharge.

Carburetor: When a mother's carburetor floods it should be treated immediately with Kleenex and a soft shoulder.

Brakes: See that she uses her brakes to slow down often and come to a full stop occasionally.  (A squeaking sound indicates a need for a rest).

Fuel: Most mothers can run indefinitely on coffee, leftovers and salads, but an occasional dinner for two at a nice restaurant will really add to her efficiency.

Chassis: Mothers run best when their bodies are properly maintained.  Regular exercise should be encouraged and provided for as necessary.  A change in hairdo or makeup in spring and fall are also helpful.  If you notice the chassis begins to sag, immediately start a program of walking, jogging, swimming, or bike riding.  These are most effective when done with fathers.

Tune-ups: Mothers need regular tune-ups.  Compliments are both the cheapest and most effective way to keep a mother purring contentedly.

Oh yes, and let's not forget to speak to mother lovingly and respectfully, especially when she reminds you to drive carefully and have a good time.

If these instructions are followed consistently, this fantastic creation and gift from God, whom we call "MOTHER", should last a lifetime and give good service and constant love to those who need her most. 

Author Unknown -- ©www.Christian-Family.net

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Email: dan@christian-family.net

How To Help Your Child In Worship

  • PRAY:  Ask God to help you be a loving parent.
  • PREPARE THE CHILD:  Before Sunday, talk to your child about how to behave in worship.  Share with the child why we sing, pray, give and preach.
  • INVOLVE THE CHILD:  When we sing, help the child to locate the hymn in in the hymnal.  Then, with your finger, point out the words as you sing.  When we read the Bible, help your child locate the Scripture passages and then follow the reading (this impresses upon the child the importance of paying attention).
  • AVOID DISTURBANCES: Be sure that your child has made stops to the restroom and the drinking fountain before worship.
  • FOLLOW THROUGH: If a child is told what is expected of him/her and then misbehaves, be prepared to do what you are going to do.  No exceptions.  Who is in control?
  • LOVE: Let your child know every day that you love them.

Teach them, show them, pray for them, discipline them, lead them, and never give up on them.  It is worth any effort to see them become Christians and go to heaven! 

“And the child Samuel grew on, and was in favour both with the LORD, and also with men” (1 Samuel 2:26).

Via Jacksonville Church of Christ bulletin, Jacksonville, AL

No author given

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Email: dan@christian-family.net

Motherhood: TOP JOB

            Woman has gained (or is it lost) footing and she now enters nearly every profession, most of which until recent years were know only to men.  But along with woman’s elevation to respectable positions in the business world has come the temptation to neglect a top job – God-given, honorable, powerful and wonderful – and that is the many-faceted tasks of being a mother.

            Being a mother doesn’t end with giving birth to a child, just as a man doesn’t neglect the business the day he is named manager of it.  The real job is just ahead.  Wearing the name and being worthy of that name are not the same.

            CIRCUMSTANCES vary in every home but one thing is certain.  If every mother would give her best to her children, even under the most difficult circumstances (problems in the home, limited time, etc.) her life would improve and her children would benefit.

            MAY EVERY mother rate motherhood as her top job.

Bettye Nichols, Editor, Christian Woman, May 1963

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Email: dan@christian-family.net
RESOURCES

We recommend a new publication for young people entitled PIERCED edited by Eric D. Gayle and Sam Dilbeck. Published six times a year, it is written especially for young people in an effort to develop in readers a relationship with Jesus as their Lord and reveal the "old paths" in a contemporary light.

Subscriptions: Suggested donation for an annual subscription is $16.00. To order a subscription, contact Eric D. Gayle by email: youth@swcofc.org or Sam Dilbeck at samdilbeck@leonardonline.net

Another valuable resource for parents and children is Christian Courier Junior. You may log on by clicking here:Christian Courier Junior

TO CONTRIBUTE TO THIS EVANGELISTIC WORK

If you would like to contribute to our work, please make your check payable to:

Church of Christ

and mail it to,

Handley Church of Christ,
3029 handley Drive,
Fort Worth, Texas 76112-6730.

Mark the envelope, "For Flournoy Fund."

Your support is deeply appreciated!

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Email: dan@christian-family.net